SWAMPHEAD (2011) movie review

Swamphead (2011) d. Drover, Dustin / Propp, Justin (USA)

From the wild woods of Wisconsin comes this four-years-in-the-making DIY feature that could ostensibly be called a slasher save for the fact that no edged implements are responsible for the bodily damage. Instead, it is the carnivorous, self-ambulating noggin of a murdered Norse warrior (in Cheeseland?) splattering happy campers all over the joint, an outlandish premise that sets the flick’s lowbrow, low-brainer comedy/horror tone for its 75-minute running time.

From a critical standpoint, these kinds of films are almost review-proof. It’s clear from the outset that co-writer/directors Drover and Propp don’t expect their little jaunt to be taken seriously – this is an exercise in homegrown splatter with a neverending barrage of poop-butt-dick jokes (hereafter known as PBDJ) intended to keep the sniggerers sniggering. That said, the ambition on display deserves applause – no doubt this was a challenging shoot, albeit one with a lot of laughter between takes. There are any number of impressive traveling camera shots, stunts and gore effects, so much so that one wishes that the boys hadn’t given over to the lowest common denominator as often as they do.

The humor – which will prove the most divisive viewer element – is juvenile and offensive in the extreme, ranging from unabashed “retard” characters reveling in their own fecal output to repellent white trash hot tub parties to the shirtless sight gag of a character sporting the ripest, fullest man boobs I’ve ever seen onscreen. None of the characters resemble real human beings, and as a result not much resonates beyond the superficial diaper overload or innard-blasting gore shots. Not that there isn’t pleasure to be derived on this level for those so inclined – I found myself often laughing long and hard at the outrageous politically incorrect and scatological buffet spread.

With its loosey-goosey feel of a passion project shot on weekends with family and friends, the challenging cinematography and downright impressive special effects come off as genuinely pleasant surprises. Among a group of like-minded fiends, I imagine this will be a sure-fire crowd-pleaser. But by wallowing in the cheapest of laughs, Drover and Propp may have denied themselves the wider audience their dedication and talent deserves.

Swamphead has been picked up for distribution by Briarwood Entertainment and is scheduled for a mid-summer 2013 release.

THE HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES (1959) movie review

Hound of the Baskervilles, The (1959) d. Fisher, Terence (UK)

Riding the success of their remakes of Frankenstein and Dracula, Hammer Studios seized upon another opportunity to breathe Technicolor life into a cinematic/literary icon: Sherlock Holmes. Peter Cushing dons the deerstalker with the same intelligent, dedicated authority of his Baron and Van Helsing characters, with Andre Morell’s Watson a decidedly less buffoonish take than Nigel Bruce’s incarnation in the 1930s-40s Basil Rathbone series.

Christopher Lee is perfectly cast as the arrogant yet vulnerable Henry Baskerville and is ably supported by Francis De Wolff, Ewen Solon and Marla Landi as the fiery Cecile.

Of particular note is Miles Malleson’s comic work as the bumbling, sherry-sipping Bishop – the interplay between he and “Props Peter” during the telescope scene is a beaut.

While not 100% faithful to Conan Doyle’s source material, the superlative mystery/adventure yarn was well received by critics and audiences alike – one can only wonder why Hammer did not pursue further Holmes installments.

BLACK CHRISTMAS (2006) movie review

Black Christmas (2006) d. Morgan, Glen (USA)

Watching the behind-the-scenes DVD featurette, one almost aches for writer/director Glen Morgan. Here is a filmmaker whose previous directorial effort, the remake of Willard starring Crispin Glover, did not meet with much financial success, and he is obviously feeling the pressure to deliver a crowd-pleaser with plenty of “Boo!” or “Bleahhh!” moments. Seems like a nice guy and a genuine horror fan too, which is why his dead-on-arrival redux of Bob Clark’s cult classic is doubly disappointing.

In trying to do something new with the now well-worn storyline of a sorority house full of potential victims, Morgan goes completely off the rails from the get-go, delivering up convoluted backstories (which fly in the face of the original's trump card of unknowable horror), gore without scares and characters thinner than the anemic script’s pages.

Some people have defended BC ’06 as being a “pretty good '80s slasher,” which to my mind is damnation by faint praise, not to mention the fact that nearly three decades have passed since the ’80s slasher heyday. Sure there are a few cool kills, we see younger versions of rising stars Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Katie Cassidy and Michelle Trachtenberg, while original ’74 cast member Andrea Martin returns as the sorority house mother. But really, what was the point?

Sorry, Glen, but if this is the best you can do and you’re a fan...maybe you ought not be directing. Maybe stick to writing Final Destination movies and producing with Chris "X-Files" Carter.

Watch Wes Benscoter's award-wining short HOLD YOUR FIRE for free!

We don't usually spill a lot of virtual ink on short films, but this one seems deserving of a little attention. Behold:

PRESENTS

---

THE TWITCH FILM PREMIERE OF

HOLD YOUR FIRE

Winner of the 2009 Fantasia Film Festival's Award for
Best Live-Action Short Film!

TWITCH FILMproudly presents the
online premiere of artist-turned-filmmaker Wes Benscoter's debut short film, HOLD YOUR FIRE, exclusively at Twitch Film and online now!

A ghostly soldier comes face to face with this grim reality of his war-torn existence on the battlefield... and beyond!

Assaulting international audiences at festivals from Montreal's Fantasia to Sitges, Fantasporto, A Night of Horror, and Dead by Dawn, to sending domestic shivers up spines at Screamfest, Boston Underground, and the New York City Horror Film Festival, Twitch Film now takes the mantle in offering Wes Benscoter's mini-masterpiece to its largest audience ever.

A twenty-year veteran of horrific illustration, Benscoter established his reputation with artwork for Slayer and Black Sabbath, and more extreme acts like Cattle Decapitation. He's also well-known for the DVD and Blu-ray cover art he's created for Synapse Films, Dark Sky Films, and more, including such classic treatments as THRILLER: A CRUEL STORY,  THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE, and the upcoming steelbooks for Lamberto Bava's DEMONS and DEMONS 2.

On the film's creation, Benscoter explains: "Shot in HD over many long, fog-shrouded weekends,
I became an expert in predicting the dew-points needed for a foggy morning. I think the film is definitely of its era, and also timeless. I now think of HOLD YOUR FIRE as my ERASERHEAD. If I'm lucky the next film will be my BLUE VELVET."

Dread Central's praise during their time at the Fantasia elicits even more stark comparisons: "The most impressive thing we've seen is actually and eight-minute short by artist Wes Benscoter. Titled HOLD YOUR FIRE, the grim anti-war film depicting the isolation and horror of a four-limb amputee is genuinely disconcerting and oddly beautiful. Here's hoping some of the upcoming features are at least this good."

For more of Wes Benscoter's chilling artwork: WES BENSCOTER

To view the film, click here: HOLD YOUR FIRE

Directed, Produced, and Written by:  Wes Benscoter

Run Time:  8 minutes
Aspect Ratio:  Widescreen 1.78:1

Wes Benscoter

GORATH (1962) movie review

Gorath (aka Calamity Star Gorath) (1962) d. Honda, Ishiro (Japan)

When a spaceship on an exploratory mission to Saturn encounters a lethal runaway Red Dwarf star on a collision course with Earth, humanity’s scientists scramble to find a solution. When it is determined that the titular celestial freight train's mass is over 6000 times that our own, the decision is made to shift the Earth’s orbit out of Gorath’s path. Great! (pause) Now, how do we do that?

The solution turns out to be a united world effort to construct an enormous field of atomic thrusters in the South Pole, which will motor our planet the requisite 400,000 kilometers to avoid decimation. This action is intercut with another interstellar flight to derive as much info about the planet-swallowing projectile as possible. Of course, there are stumbles along the way, in the form of underestimating Gorath’s gravitational pull (and its effects on rocket ships and ocean tides) as well as the downside of heating up the coldest place on Earth with nuclear-powered rockets.

Originally, no kaiju were planned to appear, but when producer Tomoyuki Tanaka insisted in order to shore up foreign sales, a subplot involving a giant walrus (dubbed Maguma, with suitmation legend Haruo Nakajima inside the blubbery skin) was introduced. Ironically, this bit of footage was consequently trimmed for the U.S. release and only remains in the Japanese release. (Luckily, the online version I was able to track down was the widescreen, subtitled, Maguma-inclusive one, and for a last minute invention, it works pretty well.)

The key creative team members behind many of Toho’s kaiju films unite once more for this curious amalgam of escapist thrills, human drama and social commentary. With Honda at the helm, prolific screenwriter Takeshi Kimura’s script rich in character and plot, composer Akira Ikufube knocking out the stirring anthems, and f/x dynamo Eiji Tsuburaya whipping up miniature versions of every known vehicle on Earth and a few fantastic spacecrafts as well, expectations were high.

Unfortunately, the end result was a well polished production but one whose occasionally uneven tone, (relative) lack of giant monsters and fanciful physics did not win over the fans in the same fashion as the same year’s King Kong vs. Godzilla. So ended Toho’s brief space opera period, and the rock ’em, sock ’em, monster mash-up era was born.

Undeservedly relegated to footnote/sidebar status, Gorath is notable for Tsuburaya’s effects (especially during the showstopping South Pole construction and flooding of Tokyo sequences), Kimura’s multifaceted narrative, and a wealth of familiar genre faces including the lovely Kumi Mizuno and Yumi Shirakawa, with go-to hero Akira Kubo as a fresh-faced astronaut. A special salute to Kevin Horn, whose effusive and informative 50th anniversary panel at last year’s G-FEST first clued me into this underrated apocalyptic epic.

THE ABANDONED (2006) movie review

Abandoned, The (2006) d. Cerda, Nacho (Spain)

Set in Russia, this challenging and rewarding ghost story (co-scripted by Cerda, Richard Stanley and Karim Hussain) follows an American émigré (the haunted-looking Anastasia Hille) as she returns to her birthplace to claim her inheritance after her absent father passes away. Soon, however, she is coming face to face with long-lost siblings, hypnotic visions from the past, and some nasty-looking doppelgangers.

The Spanish auteur, who dazzled short film horror audiences with his festival favorites Aftermath and Genesis, takes the helm for his first feature-length effort and proves he’s got the stuff for the big leagues.

While not filled with the lunch-buckling f/x work of his earlier work, there are enough visual delights (the “kitchen resurrection” scene is one for the books) and nasty chills - all wrapped in a dank and misty atmosphere of dread - on display to keep genre fans satisfied.

THE BLACK CASTLE (1952) movie review

Black Castle, The (1952) d. Juran, Nathan (USA)

Boris Karloff and Lon Chaney, Jr. receive prominent billing in this middling Universal effort, but neither is really given much to do: Chaney turns in another one of his patented “drooling idiot” roles, while Boris skulks in the shadows much of the picture, which could hardly be called a horror film to begin with. Instead, it concerns itself primarily with the dashing Richard Greene’s search for the killers of his companions, leading him to the door of evil count Stephen McNally.

While there, he (of course) falls for McNally’s bride, played by the fetching Rita Corday, and has a few close encounters with an alligator pit. But the overall tone is one of an adventure tale, complete with a climactic plot device lifted from Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet.

Good for a rainy day and Karloff completists, but that’s about it.